Melbourne’s Finest Brothel – The Cherry Tree Garden

A Quest for Melbourne’s Finest Brothel: is it really the holy grail?

It’s commonly said that prostitution is the world’s oldest profession. Therefore, you might think selling sex has become something of an art form and the buyers a quite discriminating lot, despite the faux connoisseurs who have turned poor taste into an art form in some forums with sleazy attempts at describing sex workers in intimate detail. I tried Googling something like Melbourne’s Finest Brothel and getting the definitive answer. I thought I was living in a Dan Brown novel.

So, in my own quest for perfection in this dimly lit and sweet-smelling world of seduction, I decided to make the ultimate sacrifice, purely for research purposes you understand, around Melbourne’s Finest Brothels, to try and discover what “finest” might mean. It was the devil’s work, but someone had to do it.

First, I thought I needed to look at it from a guy’s point of view. We all have sexual fantasies, no matter how old we are. We’re sexual beings and our fantasies wander unhindered through our unconscious as a normal part of our lives. My guess is that a lot of our fantasies stem from being told that masturbation, even touching our little tallywhackers when we were kids, would make us blind. In God’s eyes, we were destined for hell and had no choice but to fantasise about things.  So, it seemed to me that a Melbourne finest brothel should at least cater for our endearing little fantasies.

These fall into many categories like domination and submission fantasies where the pleasure of dominating your partner is as much visual as it is emotional, and men love the visual aspect, since they are now in control of any and everything that happens. Or the reverse, being subdued with a woman in control can be a great turn-on to many men.

And which man hasn’t fantasised about having two or more women at the same time, and if you’re shaking your head right now, I know the truth. Then there are the “cougar” fantasies, and those about sex with a virgin all the way through to plain old voyeurism.  As a first pass in the search for a Melbourne Finest Brothel, catering to male fantasies would seem to be high on the must-haves. How great to find those mirrors liberally splashed around the boudoir and happy, beautiful women willing to participate whole-heartedly!

To lay claim to the finest brothel in Melbourne it seems essential to also add the ability to transport a man from the mundane to the magical. All too often customers must settle for the converted factory which with bit of minor signage work could be transported back into a sheet-metal workshop!  These were quickly eliminated as rather missing the point of a seductive, fantasy-rich bordello.  What I wanted to find was a place where someone actually cared about the aesthetics and had used some imagination to make the place interesting.  And clean.  I’d like lingering over the experience rather than finishing and wanting to leave as quickly as possible, wondering what the hell had brought me there in the first place.

Then it came down to the experience from the non-sexual staff.  Did I want to be welcomed like a valued customer or shovelled quickly into a room by some disinterested manager, after a glimpse to see if that was a wallet in my pants. Worse, then finding myself with other potential guests hoping not to see someone I knew, to be visited too briefly by a girl who would spend the getting-to-know-you time telling me what the price for each act would be.  No, I’m not buying a BMW and building it dollar by dollar to my needs.  Easy decision.

Fortunately, I did find some that came close to what I thought could pass muster as a Melbourne Finest Brothel.  They are there, not always easy to find with Melbourne’s regulatory framework forcing them into industrial backwaters.  But then again, the transportation from mundane industrial wasteland to a magical encounter can be even more pleasurable if the brothel can use a little imagination.

The Cherry Tree Garden in Williamstown is one of Melbourne’s finest brothel, learn more at www.thecherrytreegarden.com.au